There's nothing to eat, Mom! 

Bulgarian Birthdays 

Two weeks later

Damn! Had done three weeks with (almost) no smoking - two Colts, I think, and then whammo! I meet a friend for improv courses, and have half a dozen. Four days later, I have a pack of my own in my pocket. And then another one. And another. And now a fourth.

It's not like "stressful situations" are going to go away, because you could call ANYTHING stressful if you want to.

New, finally automated, report card system at school. I find a glitch and they tell me I'm doing something wrong. Of course, a few hours later, someone else discovers it IS a glitch and it doesn't get fixed for a week. And so on and so forth. Spent hours late at school getting it done, and then an email regarding "necessity of keeping a positive attitude". Apparently, I was complaining.

The second those are over, the Chirstmas Concert starts - where other people put me (drama teacher) into a no-win situation: I don't like your choice for this class, do this. No, do that. No, do this. Why isn't it ready yet? Why doesn't it work?

Oh, we forgot to tell you that we want the kids to do 10 of those, not just one.

The display cabinet is sloppy. Fix it.

The dishes aren't done.

Did he tell me hates the dog?

The laundry isn't done.

Supper doesn't cook itself.

Mom needs a major operation.

And I haven't seen anything that approaches artwork, although I did go to Second City. Girl, stay patient, breathe, don't eat late at night, do a little artwork. Smile all day.

Okay - so how come I don't feel better?

A week of report card writing and worrying

Smoke free since last Tuesday - until last night - and then I discovered Colts - buy one, not a pack - have five puffs and I'm done.

One the hand, that's good, because there's no "paid for it, now use it" feeling

On the other hand, smoking is smoking.

Once the reports are "up" on the system at school, that will be positive, but it feels like it will take forever. That's got more to do with not being in control of my time to get them done.

R's Grade 5, 6 and 7 sure are a rude and boring bunch. I feel incompetent - like I can't hold their interest. And now I get to work extra with them (groan) for that stupid concert.

Uh oh. This is turning into a rant.
Foodwise... nothing out of the ordinary - the scales stay the same - or actually, they're up a pound.
Alchohol wise - kept it to the weekend, as promised to self - and max was three on Friday.

Of course, The Swan is motivating - to get plastic surgery!

Day 6 Rock Bottom

5 glasses of wine
10 cigarettes
Halloween candy


OUCH! Why do I do this to myself?

ham and cheese sandwich on white
clamato juice

deep fried chicken
ceasar salad

Okay day at work - got the kids started on their Christmas cards. Woke up in the middle of the night, panicked about school.

Good news? No cigarettes left, and the wine is running really low. It's easier not to drink, which seems to result in complete letgo.

Day 5 Not so well behaved

It's as if I "rewarded" myself for being "good" yesterday by going back to normal. Although normal ain't so healthy.

Did a little clay work in the am on the Gundestrup stuff - it's getting boring - think I'll call it quits with this project once all six are done

Ron's class a pain today with very childish behavior - Rhona suggest that the kids just get dumped there because they can't handle Montessori and need more help than normal. Discussed shading and rule of three.

Julia's class is a pleasant reprieve

Drama Club finished readinghte Imaginary Invalid.

Have this horrible feeling that I'm going to fall really far behind and get really wound up. Also feel as if I'm going to catch a cold but don't have it yet.

Fixed Jamie's papier mache mask that the dog ate. Made a little one on a pumpkin.

Jamie fixes TV for me - and the remote - I've lost my common sense too. The remote just needed a battery, and the set top box needed turning on.

Day 4 Samhain

5 kilometre walk with John and Jamie


Got out Halloweeen decorations, cleaned everything up and got Jamie all frustrated with helping. Hung up ghosts outside, fall centrepieces, made an insect wreath. Chatted for a bit with the neighbours.

Maybe 2 dozen kids all night. Weather superb for them.

Watched Harry Potter.

Clocks changed yesterday, slept like a log!

Day 3

Bought a pack of cigarettes last night and like an idiot, I forgot my vows to self.
Smoked 1 cigarette on the way to pick up my photographs from New York City
And another on the way back.

Man. picking up photographs - especially after a while, is as exciting as a kid at Christmas!

Told Jamie, who suggested he hide them, and then suggested that I give them to Tim who was coming to pick me up later that evening.

Score keeper at basketball - lots to watch and remember, and confusing if you don't know the ref's signs. With help from both coaches, and both refs, I got it happening....great place to watch the game!

Excited about elarning something new - this is the same game they made me feel awful about back in piublic school - "do we have to have her on our team?"

Computer broke...and this time John actually, unbelievably, fixed it without complaint or growls. Spent all Sunday on it - without complaint or growls. Must have figured out why he wasn't getting any from time to time.

Like a bitch, I decided I didn't like the way hte new outlook does things. Just going to have to learn a new package. Don't fix things that aren't broken (although things were seriously broken)

Did the Sutton ghost walk again tonight, this time carved pumpkins. Really hard work, that is! Got to meet Tod, who seems like the perfect sweetie for Ninette, which was really cool and talked about how he got into antiques and art and design and dog ownership. Of course,I talked too much, but made them laugh anyway. Tim was costumed as Stephen Leacock and crammed his facts on the way up - only to be bothered later by the same goof that told Jamie and I to "get with the group".

(Can't you see the goulish costume, sir??)

Bought a beaded native necklace - even though it's the thunderbird, it has arrows to show direction.

Ted came with on the way home - J-kid didn't come this time - gave the rest of the pack to Tim.

M calls at 10:30, looking for husband, who apparantly, has neglected to call home. Wanted to remind her that phoning me in the middle of the night with aging parents is equally as scary.

Note to self: try again tomorrow....it felt good to pitch out the bad stuff and have a bit more energy!