Sometimes I feel I'm just spinning my wheels and I"m going to die having acomplished nothing.
It's like I have no control over my life and am at the mercy of my husband, boss, other people's children and their parents, and my own bad habits.
This is exactly the kind of blog I didn't want to write: the dear diary one. But, looking at traffic stats on Industrial Art, it seems I just may be able to keep this private.
Of course, this is on the internet, so it can't be THAT private, but hopefully that should scare some action out of me.
First step: written goals and a game plan. Yadda yadda, progressively smaller and more tangible until today's to-do list is "done". Yep, I've been reading by Tony Robbins.
Where I'm at today and where I'd like to be.
Health: (scary recently because a few people have died and Mom is 84)
I'm pulling in at 145 lbs and would eventually
like to end up between 115 and 120. 25 pounds doesn't seem all that much, but I'm only 4'10", so it's cramping my middle. I have three chins, three tummies, and an extra one around my back.
Menopause is one excuse, but I think I don't get enough exercise. Getting motivated for exercise isn't easy. I've joined the same gym three times, tried a personal trainer, but haven't stayed committed. My husband joined to help me out, but we got into fights. I have a bike and gym equipment downstairs. It's dark and horrible down there. I have a dog who needs walking. I like swimming, but it's almost November. I like cycling, but the bike has been sitting by the tree for two months.
Food consumption: Eat less, exercise more. Can the carbs, the fads....we'll stick with the Weight Watchers Point System for general consumption. I should only be taking in 23 points a day max; BUT we'll start at 25 so we don't get the overload of guilt.
Alcohol isn't working so well these days....a little bit leaves a large pain-bill. Let's say we can only drink on weekends.
Water. Must to drink lots of water. Let's just count that and get it up to 8 glasses a day.
Maybe if I imagined I was going to meet Johnny Depp in three months it would motivate me, ut we know that ain't real! But even if it was that guy I had a crush on.......? Except I don't have a huge crush anymore.
Quit beating around the bush. Theoretically, 2 pounds a week, 8 pounds a month....this could be done by the end of January next year.
Let's say that I have to find 20 minutes of exercise today.
Weight watchers Points at 25/day
Alcohol max two glasses, weekends only
Water up to 8 glasses
Whew! That was jsut weight management! Now for the quitting smoking part because this is the time of year I get bronchitis and is probably the biggest reason exercise thoughts seem like a pain in the ass, or inachievable. The mere thought of running around the block makes my lungs hurt, even though I've never liked running. Sneaking smokes in the house in the winter and spending time trying to de-stink the air so John doesn't say too too much. Can't smell anything. Can't laugh without coughing. Feel like shit, mostly. Cost $8/pack. Car stinks. Almost none of my friends smoke. Bad example for Jamie.....
....but all of this is a litany for stuff and I still ask, so???? My throat hurts. Doctor found a lump 13 years ago and scared me for three weeks. Meantime, friends who didn't smoke actually died of cancer.
It would make my Mom happy.
Goal: Find strong personal reasons NOT to smoke. In the meantime, remember that Chanel #5 was a little over $80 and will be paid for in 10 packs of cigarettes. Figure a pack every two days, so 20 smoke free days. And I'll smell pretty.
Work towards a smoke free day: the towards a nicorettes free day!
Sunday 24 -
Monday 25 - 4 (last of pack)
Tues 26 - 2 (rolled from old butts) (OH MY!)
Wed 47 - 3 (2 rolled from butts (gross again) bummed one. Felt like habit when I smoked it)
Let's see: what else do I want to fix?
Clutter and junk. There's a written game plan for that somewhere, but right now, I'd like to see the "office" clear of junk by the end of November, and the studio needs a refresh.
Positive stuff! Things I want to do (instead of things I should or need to do)
Camera course on digital video at Henry's
Second City improv course
Art school
travel - Cornwall, Scotland, Wales, Australia and New Zealand, Morroco, Russia, Costa Rica
Get solo exhibitions
Art Ideas:
Industrial Newmarket
Ontario Mining
Gundestrup Cauldron
Maya bas reliefs
travel journals
rock - geological clay formations (abstractions)
Finally, the ToDo list:
Report cards coming up at school - start comments.
Glue sticks for art club
photocopies of Huron Carol for 567
monthly report
renew subscriptions to art magazines
work out payment schedule
finish Gundestrup cauldron sculptures by Tuesday
costumes for Georgina Spirit walk
email catch up
