Just what we don't want on our new carpets!

You Are A: Puppy!

Beloved by all, puppies are energetic, playful, and loving. Your playful and outgoing nature is part of what makes you a puppy. Known for their loyalty, puppies make great pets for young and old alike. And an innocent puppy face can melt anyone's heart!

You were almost a: Pony or a Lamb
You are least like a: Groundhog or a TurtleWhat Cute Animal Are You?

Found on Depp Fans Over 30

Desiderata; by Max Ehrmann, 1952 (As New Year's Resolutions approach)

Desiderata

Go placidly amid the noise and haste,
and remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible without surrender
be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly;
and listen to others,
even the dull and the ignorant;
they too have their story.

Avoid loud and aggressive persons,
they are vexations to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others,
you may become vain and bitter;
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.

Keep interested in your own career, however humble;
it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs;
for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;
many persons strive for high ideals;
and everywhere life is full of heroism.

Be yourself.
Especially, do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love;
for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment
it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years,
gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.
Beyond a wholesome discipline,
be gentle with yourself.

You are a child of the universe,
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God,
whatever you conceive Him to be,
and whatever your labors and aspirations,
in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul.

With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful.
Strive to be happy.

Max Ehrmann, Desiderata, Copyright 1952.

Slap Happy at the Bad Dog - Quickly becoming a Christmas tradition!

Last Christmas, good friend Tim and I had just started taking Improv classes at Second City. We were excited about seeing our instructor, Kerry Griffin perform with their group, Slap Happy. I think the phrase "you have to have been there" aptly describes improv comedy. Needless to say, I sat front and centre, about a foot from the actors feet, with the eager grin of a child watching a Christmas tree light up. They had cookies, too.

Laughed until my head hurt, yes, but I did have some questions last year....when they asked for suggestions (and got one); how come I didn't see any reference to it in their scenes?


We ended that evening last year as the wind was picking up, waiting for a tow truck in an empty Office Depot parking lot in Markham. Rescuing all the kids' gifts from the backseat of the car while watching my beautiful car ride away. Man, I was grateful for CAA and good friends THAT night!

A year goes by, and I'm becoming dependent on the laughter-high of a Second City Sunday. I also learn that taking suggestions from the audience only needs to inspire you as an improvisor. I still don't get it....why ask in the first place?

Nonetheless, I'm wiser now. I've also had the honour of having Sandy and Dave as instructors. There were cookies, and I elbowed someone for a front seat. Tim won a prize. And after all was said and done, I laughed harder than I did last year - the great deep, chest-heaving wag your feet gut laughter than comes when you've been broadsided by intelligent humour. Slap Happy doesn't dumb down for the audience...even when they're being lizards.

Christmas turkeys.....

David got a parrot for his birthday. Unfortunately, it had
a bad attitude and screamed expletives all the time. David
tried hard to change the bird's behavior by constantly
saying polite words and playing soft music, but nothing
worked. When he yelled at the bird, it just got ruder.

Finally, in a moment of desperation, David put the parrot
in the freezer. He heard the bird squawking, kicking and
cursing. Then it got quiet. David worried he had hurt the
bird, so he opened the freezer.

The parrot calmly stepped onto David's arm and said,
"I'm sorry that i offended you. I will change my behavior
immediately." Astounded by the bird's sudden politeness,
David was about to ask what had changed him when the
parrot said," May I ask what the turkey did?"

Argh!

The real reason we're taking out the chimney

Santa terrified my little boy, who, for a few years, insisted he leave any presents outside the house. By the driveway. Near the street.

Thus year, my husband has informed me that we're taking out the fireplace and the chimney. It could well be to prevent pirates with candy canes stuck in their heads from stealing our baubles.

(c) Anne Taintor, Inc

Whine, Women and Christmas: or What Women Really Want

As I struggle through another season of homemade Christmas cards, lost addresses, and half-decorated trees while my husband and son are couch-spudding and spending quality time together watching wrestling, I found Anne Taintor's wonderful work entirely refreshing.

I feel MUCH better now!

It takes all kinds....

What manner of man needs to jump in between a mother and her camera-shy son to make a funny face?

What manner of man cannot converse an hour with a child without sarcasm?

And yet again, what manner of man who works 16 hour days, 7 days a week finds it in his heart to give a bottle of rice wine to a customer on purchasing a loaf of bread?

What do you get when you cross a reindeer with a pickle?

Reindeer and a pickle

A History of Hearthrobs

You'd think that after half a century, I'd stop fantasizing about movie stars. In fact, my son said: "I've never seen you get so crazy over an actor..."

My answer, of course, is "You haven't been around all that long, kiddo"
------------------






Steve McQueen (or was it the motorcycle, cigarettes and "bad boy" image?) Best quote:

"I'll be walking down the street and some guy spots me and flips out. You can see it happen. He goes temporarily crazy just from looking at me. I know what's going through his head: He's got to make his move. He's got to do it because there's a movie star right in front of him and it may be the only chance in his whole life. After a while, they all turn out to be the same person: some guy flipping out, trying to get to you, trying to eat you, man, because he just can't let you get away!"







Paul Newman (signalling the end of the blond era) . Gotta be the bad boy stuff again, but I had to laugh when I read this:

"The embarrassing thing is that the salad dressing is outgrossing my films. "



Harrison Ford Yes, Indiana Jones, but mostly Witness. His words of wisdom?

"It's very little trouble for me to accomodate my fans, unless I'm actually taking a pee at the time."



Tom Cruise (or was it really the fighter plane?) Top Gun. After that, he's just a pretty face. And now he's a nut case pretty face. As he says:

"Nothing ends nicely, that's why it ends."

Duh.




Mel Gibson Most definitely the Lethal Weapon series; Mad Max; Conspiracy Theory...but not so much the recent stuff. I already know what women want. He says:

"After about 20 years of marriage, I'm finally starting to scratch the surface of that one [what women want]. And I think the answer lies somewhere between conversation and chocolate."



Johnny Depp (or is it really Tim Burton?) I'm going to have to justify this choice for a little while - I just spent better than $100 on a few of his DVDs. A quote:

"When kids hit 1 year old, it's like hanging out with a miniature drunk. You have to hold onto them. They bump into things. They laugh and cry. They urinate. They vomit.'"

It's winter, it's dark early, it's bottle o' wine and bad boys in the movies. Yes!

Last of the visual puns....I like this one because it makes me think about being trapped in my computer when I'd rather be at the pool.

I like life without a computer.

My monitor died the other night, and I'm in no hurry whatsoever to replace it. It was much more fun at the swimming pool that it is losing Bejewelled.

Sadly, though, a part of my life IS attached to this machine, so the store I give all my business to gave me a loaner until a bigger and better one arrives. They said they'd do it special for me because I was so nice.

Isn't that lovely?

Damn it.