Dear Diary: This has been a very rough day.

This has been a rough day.

I just want to sit and cry, but I can't cry. Getting teared up as I write. Can't cry. Very lonely. Big nasty throbbing headache.

I have two bottles of water because when I get freaked my mouth dries up. I also have a sore throat and a minor cold. I'm tired, no patience. Been exhausting at school - lot of little shits really acting up, and a Gr. 8 pair of boys - well, I've been pissed off all year. Called it quits. Time to do something else.

Then my son calls - he's been in an accident. Here goes the heart rate again, and THAT hasn't stopped. Best friend stayed with him, helped son cook dinner after all was said and done. Then friends' Mom came with wine. My dog tried to bite her. Then her glass exploded. We're going to be friends for a while. I can tell.

Then everybody left and I'm writing this. We were exceptionally lucky. Money, though. Could get expensive. Husband is working through the numbers. He's not too approachable right now.Still can't cry. I love that boy very much, and it really hurts me to see him learn this lesson.

It's been a rough day.

S.A.D.

I'd call it Seasonal Aggressive Disorder, if I had my druthers. All these "little" things are getting under my skin, and I'm not liking myself much at the moment. The list of little things grows daily....

I'm trying really hard to simply stay away from the rest of the world right now, but do you think anyone is listening to the LEAVE ME ALONE?

I tried, fruitlessly, last night, to tell someone I did not WANT to go out tonight, but she seems to think she's different. She'll cheer me up, she says. Amidst sighs and groans, I said "maybe", but that really means, OKAY shut up, I'll go, dammit, but I don't want to, BE THERE @ 7:30. Grrrrrr.
I'll go, have a good time, and come home, resenting the situation and the people involved.

It's hard enough as it is for me to say NO, so the courage and energy it took to actually say it and have it ignored is....

What does it take for people to UNDERSTAND the word NO? Am I not bitchy enough?