Thursday, March 02, 2006

For some, it's been a bad day

I think one of the biggest problems people encounter in relationships more complex than the daily superficial (bus driver : passenger) is the assumption that the other can read your mind. The corrollary being that you can read the other's mind.

You get caught in a dance and you know the steps. Something triggers a reaction and you're on auto-pilot. The dance begins; comes to a crescendo, and dies as the last note fades. And then all hell breaks loose, and you're already onto the next dance.

I simply don't have the energy or the brains for angst. To be honest, I don't spend my days trying to figure you out. I don't spend my days trying to figure me out. I take what you give me at face value. I don't read between the lines. I'm just not that interested. I have a long enough memory to recognize a bad thing happening, at which point you simply disappear from my consciousness i.e. I stop caring and you don't count.

How do you effect change if the people around you assume they know what you think and feel? And how do you solve problems if they think you SHOULD know what they think?

I'm stupid. Tell me what you're thinking. I'm gonna get it all wrong if you don't.

The corrollary, of course, is that you're stupid the minute you start telling me what I think.

So let's make each dance a new one. Our lives aren't long enough. When I go; I want it to be without regrets, without a "should have", "would have" or "could have". It's a way of life, because the end always comes too soon, too suddenly, and too permanently.

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